Isang malalim na buntong-hininga

Wow... That was a great weight off my chest. Heehee. I'm glad we had that TALK and cleared some stuff up.:)

Buntong-hininga para sa ibinagsak na Elc test! Yay! Pero life goes on... Test lang yun! Sus... Matatanggal lang naman ako sa Ateneo, papatayin lang naman ako ng magulang ko, naiyak lang naman ako pagkatapos magtest sa sobrang pagka-desperado... Ayos lang naman!

Tulog... Gusto ko ng TULOG.

Nawiwili ako sa pagsasalita sa Tagalog at sa paggamit ng ALL CAPS para sa emphasis. Nawiwili rin ako sa ???, diba Kristle???

Mental and emotional breakdown. Huweeeee!

Mga di nagparamdam

Muahahaha! Sana talaga nakita ko kayong dalawa kanina sa station... Bwahahah! Naiimagine ko ang paghihilahan niyo!

Stop stop stop

Ayan na... sumisikip nanaman ang dibdib ko... For some reason ay nafifeel ko nanaman na mayroon akong dapat ikalungkot, or mayroon akong ikalulungkot mamaya. Pero shet ayoko naaaa! Ayoko na yung bigla na lang akong makakaramdam ng sakit habang nananahimik. Nananahimik na nga lang ako eh...

Lecheng Fil

Fil, leche ka! Isa kang malaking pahirap sa buhay! Pooootah. Waahahaha!

Hindi pa rin ako nakakapag-aral para sa long test mamaya! Weeee! Ang masama pa doon, narealize ko na wala rin pala akong notes, so wala rin akong maaaral. Wahahaha! Poor meeeee! Pero kaya ito... Wahaha!

Tsaka A naman ako dun sa isang test eh... Wahahah! Joke lang. Hindi dapat ganun ang pag-iisip!!! Pag-iisip ng tamad yan!

Huwaw

Huwaw... Hindi ako makatrabaho sa sobrang lungkot! Lungkot nga ba ito? Huwell... Basta ang sikip ng feeling sa heart ko... Parang ginigipit... Para akong puputulan ng hininga't buhay anytime soon, at nakakaasar na.

At hindi ko alam kung bakit. Nalulungkot ba ako? Nagagalit ba? I keep telling myself not to feel any sadness or anger, and maybe the pain I'm feeling is because of those repressed feelings. I really don't know. All I know is that this pain is really wasting a lot of my time. I could be doing my fil paper or studying for my fil test or doing my elc lab report, but I'm not. Instead, I'm here posting because I need an outlet for these emotions.

Ewan. Malabo. Naguguluhan na talaga ako.

Sayang ka

Sayang ka... Has anyone ever told you that? Okay ka sana eh... Marami kang napaniwala na okay ka. Pero... Sayang lang talaga...

Tarantado ka

Tarantado ka. Alam mo yun. I don't think you need me to tell you that.

Hay nako, Cydelle...

Move on, stupid idiot! Babae, ang tanga mo. Shet ka. Hahaha. Ang stupid... Pinagagalitan ko sarili ko. Well, anyway. MOVE ON NGA EH! Tangina ka! Potah... Minumura ko na rin sarili ko!

Hay. Wag kang tanga, Cy. Alam mo naman na hindi eh. Hindi diba? Life goes on.:)

Ano ba...

Kapag ikaw merong ayaw ipakita sa akin, halimbawa sa phone mo, pinipilit ko ba? Kapag ako merong tinatanong sa iyo na ayaw mong sagutin (excluded ang plain panggagago dito), kinukulit ba kita?

Siguro naman hindi ka ganun katanga na hindi mo madifferentiate kung ano ang pwede at kung ano ang hindi pwedeng ibahagi sa iyo ng iba diba? Sige, mangulit ka. Tanggap ko yun. Hindi nga lang kita bibigyan ng sagot. Pero pag lumalampas na talaga yung pangungulit mo, kapag pinagpipilitan mo talaga kahit na sinabing ayaw, iba na yun.

Hindi ko naman ginagawa sa iyo yan diba? I respect your privacy. Respect mine.

Kebs

Sabi ko wala na akong pakialam, diba? Kung ganun, bakit ganito pa rin? Haaay. Dibale, magsusumikap talaga ako!

Evil Siblings

Haaaay... It's sooooo fun watching your younger sister cry because your even younger brother shows her something scary on the pc. Hahaha! Such as that reversed jingle bells thing! Muahaha! I should have known that the reason why my brother rushed downstairs sniggering and aiming to lock himself inside the bathroom was because of that.

Haaaay... It's so nice knowing that at least one of your siblings is growing up to be just like you. >:)~~~~~~~~~

Asa

"Of course not."

Hahaha... Asa.

Ang sawi *bow*

Ang sawi

Kain nang kain

Tsokolate

TInapay na may mayonnaise

Mga pampataba

Paano pa ako papayat nito!?

Palaka

I want to blog. I mean, blog something coherent and sensible. There are a lot of things that I just want to vent out right now, but I can't find the energy to write about it. I can't find the "inspiration" to write either. It's like... Everytime I sit here in front of the pc, staring at this huge box where I could type anything and everything I want to, the words just won't come. And then a little later, I would be too frustrated to write anything connected to what I originally wanted to say.

Maybe as I type nonsense I might be able to type what I actually really want to type...

Days are getting worse. No matter how much I want to smile, I just couldn't. Well, not wholeheartedly, at least. I do smile, but it's the fake, plastic smile that says "I am not in the mood." Sometimes I would just keep quiet, and everyone would be asking me what was wrong. I'd shake my head and say it was nothing, of course.

Deep inside, I was keeping quiet because I'm thinking about things. Such as... What could happen if SOMETHING hadn't happened? Or if I DIDN'T LET THAT CRUCIAL MOMENT PASS BY? What if instead of keeping quiet about something, I actually voiced out my opinion right from the very start, instead of keeping it all in the whole time?

Then sometimes, in the process of thinking, I'd find myself crying. Tears would flow even if I dont will them, and thankfully no one notices.

Sometimes I think maybe I'm being too shallow, too irrational. It had already occured to me that I might be the only one seeing the wrong in whatever situation I'm in, and that maybe in reality it really is no big deal. But further thinking owuld tell me that "Hey, you're not at fault here. Your thoughts aren't exactly irrational."

I don't know anymore. Sometimes I wish I could just bring back the past, so that I could redo whatever mistakes I made before. If given the chance, I would do the opposite of what I did. Maybe eventually I'd feel that there is something wrong with going back to what was before, and that I'd probably come to a point where I'd want to find out what would happen if I did another thing. It's just a cycle, really.

Life's a vicious cycle.

Then sometimes I just stop to think... I'm supposed to be studying. I told myself that I'd start to take my lessons seriously, but then here I am, still in front of the pc. Sometimes I gather the strength to let go of the pc, and during those times I feel as if I were bestowed with what little seriousness of character may be given me.

And then of course there's that fact that I want someone to talk to so bad.It's a personal thing... I suppose you could say I have trust issues. I could say Itrust a certain group of people, but not with something so personal.

Like my blockmates. I trust my blockmates. I really do. They're the greatest, and I really enjoy being with them. However no matter how hard try I still would not be ble to share with them my innermost secrets and problems.

Ewan. Bahala na.