Life is unfair.

Wala na. The End. Wakas. Tapos na. Your capricious nature is too much for me. I can't handle that. Ayoko na.

That's why... No matter how hard... No matter how much it would hurt... I will try. I will try my best...

To stay away...

Goodbye Internet. Welcome the [feeling] Nerd.

I am failing Math and ELC. Seriously. So far I've passed only one long test for math, with only 1 point above the passing score, and no tests at all for ELC. I am down by around half in math, and more in ELC.

Which is why I am changing my ways. Nerd mode from now on. I am alloting myself only one hour of internet for every evening, unless it's really a must that I be online, for example when I'm doing a lab report or if there's a group discussion on YM.

One hour. I can do this. I lived with just one hour of internet per day back when we were on dial-up. I can live with that again. I have to.

But there's so much I want to rant about! I just couldn't find the effort to do so. Haaaay...

Till the next time I blog. Ciao!

I was tagged by Ayen!!!

Rules:
This is simple. Just:
1. Emphasize all lines that apply to you.
2. Tag five more people after you finish, complete with links to their sites.
3. Let the person you've tagged KNOW that they've been tagged, for Pete's sake.

I wish I was a different ethnicity.
I have an eating disorder.
I'm short.
I'm tall.
I think I'm really attractive.
I prefer winter over summer.
I'm a geek.
I'm a shopaholic.
I'm reasonably intelligent.
I'm attracted to girls.
I'm attracted to boys.
I like British accents.
I smoke regularly.
I drink regularly.
I smoke socially.
I drink socially.
I get drunk easily.
I do drugs.
I will never date a bad kisser.
I've lied to avoid kissing them again.
I brush my hair at least 50 times a night.
I'm religious.
I'm not religious but have morals.
I lie frequently.
I'm impulsive.
I'm hardworking.
I liked "Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind".
"She's All That" is one of my favourite movies.
I'm good at History.
I speak more than two languages. (Need some practice, though, since it's been a while...)
I enjoy taking pictures.
I like spending money on myself.
I like spending money on others.
I have a regular income.
I earn money on a job-by-job basis.
I pay my own bills.
I rely on my parents for money.
I can cook.
I enjoy cleaning.
Tidyness is a must in my life.
I like clutter.
My idea of good music is Britney Spears.
I have heard of Blonde Redhead.
I enjoy Blonde Redhead.
I'm fashion-conscious. (Basta alam kong di ako mukhang katanga-tanga...)
I have good taste. (We all have different tastes, and if I think I have good taste then no one has a say in it.)
People tell me I have good taste.
I excel academically.
I'm told I have yet to fulfill my potential.
I'm good at sports.
I'm good at certain sports.
I couldn't do sports to save my life.
I'm creative.
I'm artistically inclined.
I wanna be an artist when I grow up.
I wanna be an engineer when I grow up.
I eat when I'm upset.
I cannot adapt to change.
I'm interested in politics.
I have shoplifted.
I download MP3s.
I've done underage drinking.
I've gone underage clubbing.
I can dance reasonably well.
I can dance extremely well.
I dance like a cardboard gorilla.
I can sing.
I sing like someone stepped on my foot.
I can swim.
I enjoy surveys.
I enjoy surveys when I'm bored.
I keep a journal.
My teachers don't like me.
I enjoy controversy.
I can be a bitch/bastard.
I have a thing for bad boys/girls.
I have tattoos.
I've been in a nudist colony.
I'm not sure if I want to have children.
I'm not sure if I'll get married.
I know who I will marry.
I'm interesting.
I'm a good liar.
People enjoy talking to me. (Sabi nila... Bwahaha!)
I annoy people from time to time.
I'm a born leader.
I'm a born leader but shouldn't lead.
I enjoy felching.
I have a foot fetish.
I have a shoe fetish.
I watch "Sex and the City".
I don't think Sarah Jessica Parker is pretty.
I wanna be J.Lo.
I cut myself.
I've cut myself.
I hate people who pretend to be suicidal.
I hate popular people.
I think cheerleading is a sport.
I'm photogenic. (Pakapalan na ba ito?:P)
I live in Chucks.
I think graffiti is art.
I have dated a criminal.
I have been cheated on.
I have cheated on someone.
I have a temper.
I like playgrounds.
I dance in the rain.
I'm obsessed with Shakespeare.
I have tanlines. (Try walking along Katipunan every single day...)
My favourite color is pink.
My favourite color is black.
I would classify myself as emo.
I'm musically inclined. (Am I?)
I like listening to music.
I like music-blasting cars.
Thongs are comfortable.
I like flip-flops.
I know what monogamy is......and I believe in it.
I wanna be a social worker when I grow up.
I have sibling/s.
My sibling/s annoy me.
I think "South Park" is funny.
I believe in LOVE.

i am tagging:
Kate
Dantes
Paopao
Dom
Popo

Trying

I'm trying. Trying so hard. I really am. But sometimes I just can't help it.

Dammit.

Funneh

Bwahahaha! I was checking my mail, like I always do, and I decided to look for that first email that I sent to my ECE block. Well, at least the first mail that was directed to them. It was posted in the entire Hauoli group, but oh well.

Anyway, I found it! Hahaha! Duh... Easy enough to do. I think it was in the 13th digest in my mail... So yeah. Found it, and... Well, I just found it funny. Hahaha. There I go, speaking in all english as if I was this conyo girl (Wow... didn't that sound conyo?), giving that little "Hey Ysa Rufino!" thing at the bottom... and I didn't even introduce myself to my blockmates! Hahaha! Stoooopid.

It's fun to see how stupid you were before, as long as it's the funny kind of stupid that even you can laugh about.:P

So anyway, I saved that to a folder. Yes, I like saving stuff... You can find me keeping the simplest play tickets in a scrapbook... Or the EK bands that I wore during our barkada's EK trips during 2nd year high. Hahaha! Anyway, back to the topic at hand. When I saved it to a folder, I remember A BLOCKMATE of mine replying to that message. Hmmm... Here's how his message went. Guess who it was.

"waah!! maling bilang ko.. 20 lang nabilang ko.. hehe.. ^^ at least mas marami na tayo!! =P

hi hi hi!!^^ hope to meet you soon!! btw, im paolo fernando~ ^^"

Oops... Of course, he had his name at the end. *sarcasm* So much for letting you guys guess. Hahaha! Well, at least HE did something right... And that was to let his block know who he was. Tsss...

So anyway, I saved that digest too. Just so that I'd have something to laugh about when I need it.:)

Haaaay

Stupid of me to be acting this way. *slaps herself* Get a grip, Cy!!! Stop it!!! You've got better things to do than what you're doing now! *slaps herself again*

Haaaay...

Di ko na alam

Bwahahaha! Wala lang. Hindi ko na alam kung san ako magpopost... Sa Multiply? Sa Blogger? Sa Tabulas?

Paano ba naman kasi... Wala lang. Parang alam na ng buong mundo ang nangyayari sa buhay ko kasi yung mga hindi nababasa sa multiply ko nandito naman. Yung mga wala dito nasa multiply naman. Eh may mga tao na alam yung both sites ko. Bwahaha!

Tinatamad naman akong i-update yung tabulas na super tagal ko nang hindi napopostan. Mwahahahaha! Pero in fairness, useful siya kasi walang nakaka-alam ng existence nito at kung kailangan ko ng outlet andun siya. Mwarharharhar!

At syempre pinaalam ko naman sa buong mundo na may tabulas ako diba? Haha. Ayos lang. As if naman mahahanap yun.

Haha

Since my line has been redirected once more, I am currently using my sister's phone. This morning someone texted, asking to be my (well, my sister's) textmate. Since I was the one using the phone, I replied.

"No thanks. Malakas kasi ang feeling ko na pangit ka eh. You're giving off those "I am desperate for a textmate vibes" and hot people don't do that. Hanap ka na lang ng ibang desperate na katulad mo.ü Good luck sa paghahanap, loser!"

Bwahahaha! Evil, I know.>:)~~~~~~~

Mamaya-maya nagreply.

"Kasanting mo pla. U seem like a lost child cliebustard fucking you... Sna snv nmu n hindi mo gusto pero ininsulto m q pah... and nothing speak... fucking you!!!"

WTF?! Hahaha! His/her/its fault! So nireplyan ko. Couldn't help it... I wanted to insult him/her/it more. >:)~~~~~~~~

"What... You asked me and I told you what was in my mind. If you don't want insults thrown at you (because I WILL keep insulting you), then stop texting. Easy enough, right? By the way, your english grammar is just plain HORRENDOUS. Your spelling sucks. I don't know if your "nothing speak" is synonymous to the "shut up" that most people use. You should go study for it instead of wasting time texting people you don't know. Now shut up and leave me be. Ciao, loser!"

Syempre nag-enjoy naman ako kasi nakikita niyo naman na ang haba ng reply ko diba? Hahaha! Tapos nagreply!!! Grade four pa lang daw kasi siya! Aba aba! Eh ang tanga naman kasi niya!

Sa isip isip ko... Great... A fourth grader who tries to act like a grown up by swearing... Maghintay na lang kaya siya hanggang ka-age ko siya diba? I mean, ako alam ko na grade 3 pa lang ako malakas na akong mag-mura, pero at least ako nasa tamang grammar naman ang pagmumura ko, and I knew how to spell. Hahaha!

So ayun... Bahala siya sa buhay niya. Di ko na siya nireplyan. Sayang sa load (kahit na unlimited ako) at sinabi kong ayaw ko siyang textmate. Kung tinext ko pa siya edi kinontra ko na yung sinabi ko diba? Hahahaha! Yun.

Mamaya-maya lalayas kami for La Union... So no internet for the weekend. Update na lang ako ng [masamang] Friday ko pag nakauwi na ako. Ciao!

It's not as easy...

What you want me to do...? It's not as easy as you may think...

I don't know where you even got the gall to ask that of me. No, wait. You didn't even ask. You just told me. Ordered me, if you may. Like you always do. Well, not really ordered. Just that... well, you just plain told me, without even confronting me about it. It's like "Okay, I have decided that blah blah blah..." Don't I have a say in this?

Do you actually expect me to take it just like that? If you do, then you're more stupid than I took you for.

What's worse is that I still can't let you go...

...

Come on... For how much longer am i supposed to suffer like this? For how much longer am I supposed to feel this way? I hate it. I really do. Darn it.

I hate you.

Hahaha... I mean, seriously. You just don't know how much I both hate and love you...

I just really can't believe how dense you could get... And it's really stupid. You're stupid. And maybe so am I. You're stupid for being dense, I'm stupid for still clinging onto you.

I suppose we just really lack communication, don't we? We should talk more about this. After all, we never established anything, really. Technically you could go and do anything as you please, and I don't really have a say about it. I don't have the right to say anything...

Why me?

Hmmm

I try so hard not to get hurt. I really do. I mean, I'm not in the right position to feel this, but I just couldn't help it. No matter what, I end up getting hurt, and it's like nothing to you.

I've been praying a lot the past days, trying to talk talk to God so that I might be enlightened or something. But that only happened once...

All I'm asking for is for you to care enough...

Dammit, that's why the movie "The Break-up" hit me so much... It's the exact same thing I've been praying for... That you care...